Bald with Benefits

Bald with Benefits
Justin looked at Mila, wishing he were bald too…

When my hair first started to grow back after chemo, I decided I was going to keep it short as I loved it. I had several dreams that my blonde hair was magically already down to my shoulders. I was distressed in my dreams, looking in the mirror saying “No! No! I’m not ready for long hair. I’m not ready to blend into the background yet! I still want to stand out!”.

Besides standing out and commanding attention and respect wherever you go, there are loads of other benefits of being a female bad ass baldie.

Bald with Benefits:

  • You save heaps of time in the morning so you can sleep in or use it to choose your outfit and experiment with your makeup.
  • No more Groundhog Day. You waste your time and effort to wash, dry and style and for what? To do it all over again the next day.
  • Wash and Go! Having a shower has never been so easy. In the hot weather, you can quickly hop into the shower to cool down without having to do the “dodge hair getting wet” dance.
  • Eco friendly. You are saving the planet litres of water by not having hair to wash and by not needing an extra towel for your head.
  • You don’t realise how many hair products you have accumulated until you store them away, giving your bathroom space to breath.
  • Save money by not having to buy shampoo, conditioner, hair styling products and trips to the hairdresser.
  • Bad hair days, greasy head, bed head or hat head are banished. Finally you are in control of your hair instead of your hair being in control of you!
  • No umbrella? No problem. The prospect of it raining and being caught out with no umbrella doesn’t fill with you fear like it once did. Besides, a nice sprinkling of rain feels refreshing on a bald head.
  • It feels so good to touch your head. Lots of people will want to touch it too so you feel like a little doggie getting adored and petted.
  • It’s the greatest icebreaker and friendship former, allowing you to interact with more people than you ever did when you had hair.
  • It makes your eyes and features pop.
  • Going overboard with jewellery never looks tacky like it did when you had hair. When it comes to accessories, more is more!
  • Fellow baldies nod at each other with a “knowing” mutual respect. We all belong to a bald community.
  • Bald instantly edges up your outfit so clothes look funkier on you.
  • You have countless styles to play with: Edgy, Punk, Tribal, Regal, Elfin, Futuristic Warrior, Amazonian Queen, the list goes on. Each day, you can decide a different look and a different you.
  • No dilemma of how you will wear your hair to a friend’s wedding or on a night out. You are free from being a slave to hair!

Hair Disadvantages:

  • On a windy day, hair sticks to your lip gloss. On a hot day, your nice hair style becomes a sweaty mess.
  • When packing for a hotel stay or a trip abroad, you are faced with the dilemma of whether you should bring hairdryer/hair straightener which uses up precious space in your carry-on along with adaptable chargers.
  • At the airport, your miniature 100ml hair products take up valuable space in your plastic zipped bag.
  • In a rush to head out the door, the Holy Grail quest for that one hair pin or a hair tie always makes you later than you are. It’s a never ending mystery of how a packet of 30 hair ties or hairpins suddenly disappear. Where do they go?
  • You should be congratulated for doing sport, but instead of a pat on the back, your sweaty ponytail smacks you in the face every time you move.
  • Pulling the disgusting slimy hair clogging the shower plug is like trying to remove the “face-hugger” alien in Sigourney Weaver’s Alien film. I have never seen something that clings on for dear life so intensely.
  • Brushing through your knots and tangles hits you with guilt. As you look at your split ends, you can hear them taunting you, leaving you feel powerless.
  • That awkward moment when you realise you just handed the cashier coins and a ball of hair. There’s no easy way of carrying around your brush in your bag without hair getting everywhere.

If you know any other benefits of being bald or any other disadvantages that plagues you because you have hair, insert them into the comment box!

Someday, I would like to create a female version of this video: I love it!

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